Why do Children Bite?
Biting is a typical behavior often seen in infants,
toddlers, and 2-year-olds. As children mature, gain self-
control, and develop problem-solving skills, they usually
outgrow biting entirely. While not uncommon, biting
can be an upsetting and potentially harmful behavior.
It's best to discourage it from the very first episode. This
2-part article will help you to understand the reasons
young children bite and give you some ideas and
strategies for responding appropriately.
Why do young children bite?
Some children bite instinctively, because they have not developed self-control. For
example, when 3-year-old Logan grabs a doll from his 2-year-old sister Mabel, her
first response is to bite him and grab the doll. She doesn't stop to think about
other ways to act or the result of her actions. But there are many other reasons
why children may bite.
A child might bite to:
· Relieve pain from teething.
· Explore cause and effect: "What happens when I bite?"
· Experience the sensation of biting.
· Satisfy a need for oral-motor stimulation.
· Imitate other children and adults.
· Feel strong and in control.
· Get attention.
· Act in self-defense.
· Communicate needs and desires, such as hunger or fatigue.
· Communicate or express difficult feelings, such as frustration, anger,
confusion, or fear ("There are too many people here and I feel cramped").
What can families do to prevent biting?
There are a variety of things that families can do to prevent biting. It helps to:
· Have age-appropriate expectations for your child's behavior based on his or her
current skills and abilities.
· Make sure your child's schedule, routines, and transitions are predictable and
consistent. At meal and bedtimes, try to do things in the same way and at the
same times. Young children do well when they know what will happen next.
· Offer activities and materials that allow your child to relax and release
tension. Some children like yoga or deep breathing. Offer playdough, foam balls,
bubbles, soft music, and other stress-reducing items.
· Use positive guidance strategies to help your child develop self-control. For
example, offer gentle reminders, phrased in a way that tells them what behaviors
are expected. "Be sure to hang up your coat on the hook." "You can each have a
bucket to use in the sandbox." "Put a small dot of toothpaste on your brush. You
won't need much to get your teeth clean."
· Provide items to bite, such as teething rings or clean, wet, cold washcloths
stored in the refrigerator. This helps children learn what they can bite safely,
without hurting anyone else.
How should I respond when my child bites?
While every situation is different, here are some general ways for responding when
a child bites.
Infants
It is developmentally appropriate for infants to learn about the world around them
by exploring it with their hands, eyes, and mouths. But infants often need help to
learn what they should and shouldn't bite.
If your infant takes an experimental bite on a mother's breast or grandpa's
shoulder, stay calm and use clear signals to communicate that it is not okay for one
person to bite another. A firm "no" or "no biting!" is an appropriate response.
Nothing more is needed.
Toddlers and Preschoolers
Toddlers have many strong emotions that they are just learning to manage.
Toddlers may bite to express anger or frustration or because they lack the
language skills needed to express their feelings
Biting is less common in preschoolers than toddlers. When a preschooler bites, it
may be due to something at home or at their childcare program that is causing the
child to be upset, frustrated, confused, or afraid. A preschooler may also bite to get
attention or to act in self-defense.
How should teachers and parents address biting?
1. If you see the biting incident, move quickly to the scene and get down to
children's level. Respond to the child who did the biting. In a serious, firm tone
make a strong statement: "No biting."
"Biting hurts. I can't let you hurt Henry or anyone else." Next, offer a choice: "You
can help make Henry feel better, or you can sit quietly until I can talk with you."
Help the child follow through on the choice if necessary.
2. Respond to the child who was hurt by offering comfort through words and
actions: "I'm sorry you are hurting. Let's get some ice." Perform first aid if necessary.
The child who did the biting can help comfort the bitten child-if both parties
agree. Help the child who was hurt find something to do.
3. Finally, talk to the child who did the biting. Maintain eye contact and speak in
simple words using a calm, firm tone of voice. Try to find out what happened that
led to the incident. Restate the rule, "Biting is not allowed." Model the use of words
that describe feelings: "Kim took your ball. You felt angry. You bit Kim. I can't let you
hurt Kim. No biting." Discuss how the child can respond in similar situations in the
future